Video Transcript

China’s Alarming Divorce Rate

1
Dàjiā hǎo! Huānyíng láidào Mandarin Corner, wǒ shì Eileen.
大家好!欢迎来到Mandarin Corner,我是Eileen。
Hi, everyone! Welcome to Mandarin Corner, I am Eileen.

2
Dàjiā hǎo! Wǒ shì Huìlín.
大家好!我是慧琳。
Hi, everyone! I am Hui Lin.

3
Jīntiān de huàtí gēn líhūn yǒuguān,
今天的话题跟离婚有关,
Today’s topic is related to divorce

4
zhè yě shì píngcháng dàjiā dōu kěnéng huì liáo dào de huàtí.
这也是平常大家都可能会聊到的话题。
and is something everyone might come across.

5
Shì de. Āi… qián liǎng tiān wǒ jiù yǒu yī gè péngyou gāng líhūn.
是的。唉… 前两天我就有一个朋友刚离婚。
Yes! A friend of mine just got divorced recently.

6
Ó, shì ma? | Duì
哦,是吗?| 对
Really? | Yes!

7
Hěn qiǎo de shì wǒ shēnbiān yě yǒu jǐge péngyou
很巧的是我身边也有几个朋友
It’s quite a coincidence that some of my friends

8
yàome yǐjīng líhūn le, yàome zhèng zhǔnbèi líhūn.
要么已经离婚了,要么正准备离婚。
are either already divorced, or are thinking about it.

9
Zhè jiù ràng wǒ hěn hàoqí, dàodǐ shì wèishénme ne?
这就让我很好奇,到底是为什么呢?
This made me wonder, why is this?

10
Wèishénme wǒmen shēnbiān líhūn de rén yuèláiyuè duō le ne?
为什么我们身边离婚的人越来越多了呢?
Why is it that more and more people around us are getting divorced?

11
Háiyǒu, tā zhǐshì pèngqiǎo fāshēng zài nǐwǒ shēnbiān ma?
还有,它只是碰巧发生在你我身边吗?
And does it only happen around you and me?

12
Suǒyǐ, wǒ jiù qù wǎngshàng kàn le yīxiē xiāngguān de bàodào hé shùjù,
所以,我就去网上看了一些相关的报道和数据,
So, I went online and read some reports and statistics.

13
fāxiàn xiāngbǐ yǐqián,
发现相比以前,
I found that

14
jìnjǐnián líhūn de rénshù díquè shàngshēng le hěn duō.
近几年离婚的人数的确上升了很多。
the number of divorces have increased quite a bit compared to before.

15
Ó, shì ma?
哦,是吗?
Oh, yeah?

16
Jù Guójiā Tǒngjìjú gěi chū de shùjù,
据国家统计局给出的数据,
According to the data given by the National Bureau of Statistics,

17
zài yī jiǔ bā qī nián, líhūn de rénshù dàyuē cái wǔshí bā wàn.
在1987年,离婚的人数大约才58万。
in 1987, only about 580,000 people got divorced.

18
Dàn zài èr líng yī qī nián, yějiùshì sānshí nián hòu,
但在2017年,也就是三十年后,
But in 2017, which is 30 years later,

19
nǐ cāi yǒu duōshao rén?
你猜有多少人?
guess how many people got divorced?

20
Duōshao a?
多少啊?
How many?

21
Shuō chūlái nǐ bié xià dào a!
说出来你别吓到啊!
Don’t be shocked!

22
Chāoguò le sì bǎi sānshí qī wàn duì!
超过了437万对!
It was over 4.37 million couples!

23
Yějiùshìshuō, yī qī nián de líhūn rénshù shì líng qī nián de qī bèi duō o!
也就是说,17年的离婚人数是07年的七倍多哦!
In other words, the number of divorces in 2017 was more than seven times that of 2007!

24
Wa! Zhème kǒngbù a! Wèishénme ne?
哇!这么恐怖啊!为什么呢?
Wow! That’s terrifying! But why?

25
Zhè zhèngshì wǒmen jīntiān yào tǎolùn de zhǔtí.
这正是我们今天要讨论的主题:
That’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today!

26
Wèishénme Zhōngguó de líhūn lǜ zài bùduàn shàngzhǎng?
为什么中国的离婚率在不断上涨?
Why does China’s divorce rate keep going up?

27
Huìlín, nǐ juéde xiànzài líhūn zuì chángjiàn de yuányīn shì shénme ne?
慧琳,你觉得现在离婚最常见的原因是什么呢?
Hui Lin, what do you think are the most common reasons for divorce?

28
Wǒ cāi kěndìng shì chūguǐ, háiyǒu jiābào,
我猜肯定是出轨,还有家暴,
I guess it must be cheating, domestic violence,

29
huòzhě gǎnqíng bùhé ba.
或者感情不和吧。
or incompatibility (that arises due to the waning of love).

30
Nǐ shuō de hěn duì!
你说得很对!
You’re right!

31
Zhè sān gè díquè shì zhǔyào yuányīn.
这三个的确是主要原因。
These three are the main reasons.

32
Gēnjù zhèngfǔ zuìjìn chū de yī fèn bàogào ne,
根据政府最近出的一份报告呢,
According to a recent report from the government,

33
gǎnqíng bùhé wéi líhūn de shǒuyào yuányīn,
感情不和为离婚的首要原因,
incompatibility (due to decrease in romantic feelings) is the primary cause of divorce,

34
zhàn le bǎifēnzhī qīshí qī diǎn wǔyī,
占了77.51%,
accounting for 77.51%.

35
ér jiābào wéi dì’èr dà yuányīn, zhàn le bǎifēnzhī shísì diǎn bā liù.
而家暴为第二大原因,占了14.86%。
Domestic violence is the second largest cause, accounting for 14.86%.

36
Á? Nà chūguǐ ne?
啊?那出轨呢?
So, what about cheating?

37
Qíshí, zhège gǎnqíng bùhé bāohán le hěn duō fāngmiàn,
其实,这个感情不和包含了很多方面,
Actually, incompatibility covers many aspects,

38
qízhōng zhīyī jiù kěnéng shì chūguǐ.
其中之一就可能是出轨。
and one of them might be cheating.

39
Yīnwèi hěn duō fūqī zài líhūn shí kěnéng ài yú miànzi,
因为很多夫妻在离婚时可能碍于面子,
Since many couples may be concerned about losing face,

40
bùhǎoyìsi xiě chūguǐ.
不好意思写出轨。
they may feel too embarrassed to write down the real reason – cheating.

41
Kěyǐ lǐjiě, suǒwèi “jiāchǒu bù wài yáng” ma!
可以理解,所谓“家丑不外扬”嘛!
Understandable. As we say, you shouldn’t wash your dirty linen in public.

42
Nǐ zhīdào Shìjì jiāyuán wǎng ma?
你知道世纪佳缘网吗?
Are you aware of a website called Jiayuan?

43
Zhīdào a, shì yī gè jiāoyǒu wǎngzhàn.
知道啊,是一个交友网站。
Sure. It’s a dating website.

44
Tāmen zuìjìn zuò guò yī cì diàochá.
他们最近做过一次调查。
Recently, they conducted a survey

45
Diàochá xiǎnshì yǒu bǎifēnzhī sānshí bā de líhūn nǚxìng shuō,
调查显示有38%的离婚女性说,
and it showed that 38% of the divorced women said that

46
tāmen líhūn shì yīnwèi zhàngfu hūn nèi chūguǐ.
她们离婚是因为丈夫婚内出轨。
they divorced because their husbands had extramarital affairs.

47
Nǐ hái jìde kāitóu de shíhou wǒ de nàge gāng líhūn de péngyou ma?
你还记得开头的时候我的那个刚离婚的朋友吗?
Do you remember the divorced friend I mentioned at the beginning?

48
Tā jiùshì yīnwèi tā lǎogong chūguǐ ér líhūn de.
她就是因为她老公出轨而离婚的。
She divorced because her husband cheated on her.

49
Hěn kěxī de shì,
很可惜的是,
And it was such a pity

50
tā hé tā lǎogong zài jiéhūn qián tán le jiǔ nián de liàn’ài.
她和他老公在结婚前谈了九年的恋爱。
because she and her ex-husband dated for nine years before they got married.

51
Lǐng zhèng zhīhòu jǐge yuè,
领证之后几个月,
They divorced only a few months after getting their marriage certificate

52
lián hūnlǐ dōu hái méi láidejí bàn jiù lí le.
连婚礼都还没来得及办就离了。
and just before their wedding reception.

53
Wa! Jiǔ nián de gǎnqíng jiù zhème méi le!
哇!九年的感情就这么没了!
Wow! Just like that! Nine years of relationship gone!

54
Duì a!
对啊!
Yep!

55
Nǐ zhīdào ma?
你知道吗?
And you know,

56
Xiànzài chūguǐ yǐjīng bù jǐnjǐn shì nánxìng le.
现在出轨已经不仅仅是男性了。
it’s no longer just men that are cheating.

57
Nà xiàng diàochá hái xiǎnshì,
那项调查还显示,
That survey also indicated

58
bǎifēnzhī èrshí wǔ de nánxìng shuō,
25%的男性说,
25% of the men claimed

59
tāmen líhūn shì yīnwèi qīzi yǒu wàiyù.
他们离婚是因为妻子有外遇。
that they divorced because their wives had affairs.

60
Suǒyǐ bǎifēnzhī èrshí wǔ de qíngkuàng shì nǚxìng chūguǐ?
所以25%的情况是女性出轨?
So, 25% of the time was because women cheated on their husbands?

61
Duì a!
对啊!
Yup!

62
Zhège dào lìngrén jīngyà o! | Shì ba?
这个倒令人惊讶哦!| 是吧?
That’s rather surprising! | Right?

63
Qíshí qián liǎng nián yǒu yī míng yǎnyuán líhūn
其实前两年有一名演员离婚
Actually, a couple of years ago, a (famous) actor got divorced

64
jiùshì yīnwèi tā de qīzi chūguǐ.
就是因为他的妻子出轨。
and it was because his wife cheated on him.

65
Nǐ zhīdào wǒ shuō de shì shuí ma?
你知道我说的是谁吗?
Do you know who I am talking about?

66
Yǎnyuán? Gāi bùhuì shì Wáng Bǎoqiáng ba?
演员?该不会是王宝强吧?
An actor? Would that be Wang Baoqiang?

67
Nà hái yòng shuō!
那还用说!
Of course!

68
Nà kěshì zhènjīng le quánguó de líhūn shìjiàn a.
那可是震惊了全国的离婚事件啊。
That was a divorce case that shocked the whole nation.

69
Duì! Wǒ jìde Wáng Bǎoqiáng
对!我记得王宝强
Right! I remember he

70
dāngshí shì zài wēibó shàng gōngkāi zhè jiàn shìqing de.
当时是在微博上公开这件事情的。
made this affair public (by publishing a letter) on Weibo.

71
En, wǒ dú le nà fēng xìn.
嗯,我读了那封信。
Hmm… I read that letter.

72
Duì! Zhīhòu yǐnqǐ le fēicháng dà de hōngdòng.
对!之后引起了非常大的轰动。
Right! And after the letter came out, it caused a huge sensation.

73
Nà duàn shíjiān, zhège shìjiàn yīzhí dōu shì tóutiáoxīnwén.
那段时间,这个事件一直都是头条新闻。
During that period, this incident made many headlines.

74
Shì a, wǒ de shǒujī shàng měitiān dōu néng shōudào zhè tiáo xīnwén.
是啊,我的手机上每天都能收到这条新闻。
Yeah. Every day, I would receive news about this on my phone.

75
Duì! Lìngwài, wǒ juéde chūguǐ de yuányīn shàng,
对!另外,我觉得出轨的原因上,
Yes! Also, I feel that the reasons for cheating

76
nánnǚ kěnéng yǒusuǒbùtóng.
男女可能有所不同。
are different for men and women.

77
Bùshì yǒu jù huà shuō ma?
不是有句话说吗?
Isn’t there a saying?

78
“Nánrén yīn xìng ér ài, nǚrén yīn ài ér xìng”.
“男人因性而爱,女人因爱而性”。
“Men love because of sex, women have sex because of love”.

79
Shuō dào zhège, wǒ hái dú dào le yī xiàng guānyú chūguǐ de diàochá.
说到这个,我还读到了一项关于出轨的调查。
Speaking of this, I read a survey regarding cheating

80
Zhè xiàng diàochá xiǎnshì, nǚxìng chūguǐ de shíjiān
这项调查显示,女性出轨的时间
and it shows, women are more likely to cheat

81
gèng duō de shì jízhōng zài hé zhàngfu chǎojià, lěngzhàn shíqī.
更多的是集中在和丈夫吵架、冷战时期。
when they have a quarrel with their husbands,

82
Ér nánxìng ne, méiyǒu shénme tèbié de qíngkuàng,
而男性呢,没有什么特别的情况,
while men cheat anytime

83
suíshí dōu kěnéng chūguǐ.
随时都可能出轨。
with no special reasons.

84
Nà zhèyàng shuō, nǚxìng chūguǐ duōshù
那这样说,女性出轨多数
That means the majority of women cheat

85
yīnwèi gēn zhàngfu de gǎnqíng chūxiàn le wèntí.
因为跟丈夫的感情出现了问题。
when a problem occurs in their relationship.

86
Qíshí wǒ nàge péngyou de lǎogong chūguǐ
其实我那个朋友的老公出轨
As matter of a fact, my friend’s husband cheating

87
bìng bùshì yīnwèi bù ài wǒ de péngyou.
并不是因为不爱我的朋友。
wasn’t because he didn’t love my friend.

88
Tīngshuō tā shìhòu hòuhuǐ le.
听说他事后后悔了。
I heard that he regretted it afterwards.

89
Wǒ juéde tā kěnéng shì méi kòngzhì zhù ba.
我觉得他可能是没控制住吧。
I guess he just couldn’t control himself.

90
Nà nǐ nàge péngyou méiyǒu zài gěi tā yī cì jīhuì?
那你那个朋友没有再给他一次机会?
Did your friend give him another chance?

91
Méiyǒu, tā yuánliàng bùliǎo tā le.
没有,她原谅不了他了。
No, she could never forgive him for that.

92
Nà nǐ shuō wèishénme xiànzài chūguǐ de zhème duō ne?
那你说为什么现在出轨的这么多呢?
Why do you think that there is so much cheating nowadays?

93
Zhè hěn nán jiǎng. Wǒ juéde yǒu hěn duō zhǒng yuányīn ba.
这很难讲。我觉得有很多种原因吧。
It’s hard to say. I think there can be all kinds of reasons.

94
Bǐrú: xiànzài de wǎngluò bǐ yǐqián fādá le, shǒujī yě shì rénshǒu yī bù,
比如:现在的网络比以前发达了,手机也是人手一部,
For example, the internet is more developed than before, and everyone has a phone.

95
shèjiāo píngtái yě duō le, jiāoyǒu jiù biànde gèng biànjié le. | Duì
社交平台也多了,交友就变得更便捷了。| 对
Along with more social platforms, it has become more convenient to make friends. | Right!

96
Háiyǒu yī gè kěnéng, jiùshì fūqī yīnwèi jiātíng yālì chǎojià,
还有一个可能,就是夫妻因为家庭压力吵架,
Another possibility could be that couples are fighting more due to family pressure.

97
zàochéng gǎnqíng bùhé.
造成感情不和。
Thus, their relationship gets damaged.

98
Jiù xiàng nǐ qiánmiàn shuō de,
就像你前面说的,
Like you said before,

99
nǚxìng chūguǐ de qíngkuàng duōshù fāshēng zài yǔ zhàngfu chǎojià qījiān ma.
女性出轨的情况多数发生在与丈夫吵架期间嘛。
most women cheat during a period where they’re arguing with their husbands.

100
Wǒ juéde háiyǒu yī gè kěnéng huì dǎozhì chūguǐ de qíngkuàng.
我觉得还有一个可能会导致出轨的情况。
I think there might be another scenario where people cheat.

101
Shénme?
什么?
What is that?

102
Nà jiùshì yìdì hūnyīn.
那就是异地婚姻。
That is in long-distance marriages.

103
Yějiùshìshuō, fūqī liǎng gè rén bùshì zài yī gè dìfang shēnghuó de.
也就是说,夫妻两个人不是在一个地方生活的。
In another words, the wife and husband are living separately.

104
Xiànzài bùshì yǒu hěn duō fūqī ma?
现在不是有很多夫妻吗?
Now, there are many couples (that live) like this.

105
Yǒule háizi zhīhòu ne, qīzi zài lǎojiā dài háizi,
有了孩子之后呢,妻子在老家带孩子,
After they have kids, the wife stays at home taking care of the children,

106
dànshì zhàngfu ne xūyào qù wàidì gōngzuò.
但是丈夫呢需要去外地工作。
while the husband works in another city.

107
Zài wǒ lǎojiā, jiù yǒu hěn duō fūqī tāmen yī nián zhǐ jiàn yī cì miàn.
在我老家,就有很多夫妻他们一年只见一次面。
In my hometown, many couples meet only once a year.

108
Zhèzhǒng chángqī fēnjū de fūqī guānxi hěn róngyì chūxiàn wèntí.
这种长期分居的夫妻关系很容易出现问题。
This kind of long-distance relationship can easily go wrong.

109
Shì a! Wǒ hái kàndào le yī zǔ shùjù shuō,
是啊!我还看到了一组数据说,
That’s right! Another set of date shows,

110
zài èr líng yī bā nián, Zhèjiāng Shěng suǒyǒu de líhūn ànjiàn zhōng,
在2018年,浙江省所有的离婚案件中,
among all the divorce cases in Zhejiang province during 2018,

111
qízhōng bǎifēnzhī sānshí de fūqī shì yīnwèi fēnjū ér líhūn de.
其中30%的夫妻是因为分居而离婚的。
30% of the couples divorced because of separation.

112
Zhè ràng wǒ xiǎngqǐ yī gè cír, “wúxìng hūnyīn”.
这让我想起一个词儿,“无性婚姻”。
This reminds me of the phrase, “sexless marriage”.

113
Wǒmen gānggang shuō de yìdì hūnyīn bù jiùshì wúxìng hūnyīn ma?
我们刚刚说的异地婚姻不就是无性婚姻吗?
Isn’t long-distance marriages basically sexless marriages?

114
Duì. Nǐ zhīdào ma?
对。你知道吗?
Yes. You know,

115
Zhōngguó yǒu yī wèi xìngxué zhuānjiā zuò guò yī xiàng diàochá,
中国有一位性学专家做过一项调查,
a Chinese sexologist conducted a research

116
chēng Zhōngguó bǎifēnzhī èrshí yī de nǚxìng
称中国21%的女性
and found that 21% of the women

117
zhèngzài zāoshòu zhe wúxìng hūnyīn.
正在遭受着无性婚姻。
are living in sexless marriages.

118
Wa! Nà yějiùshìshuō,
哇!那也就是说,
Wow! So, that means

119
měi wǔ duì fūqī jiù yǒu yī duì zài jīnglì zhèyàng de hūnyīn a!
每五对夫妻就有一对在经历这样的婚姻啊!
for every 5 couples, there is one that is going through this.

120
Shì a! Wǒ juéde zhǔyào shì xiànzài niánqīngrén gōngzuò yālì dà,
是啊!我觉得主要是现在年轻人工作压力大,
Right! I think that is mainly because young people now have a lot of pressure from work.

121
fángdài, chē dài, háizi zhèxiē dōu xūyào qián.
房贷、车贷、孩子这些都需要钱。
And everything requires money, such as mortgage, car loans, and children.

122
Háiyǒu wǒmen zhè yī dài rén duōshù wéi dúshēngzǐnǚ,
还有我们这一代人多数为独生子女,
Also, the majority in our generation are the only child in their families

123
Zhōngguó yòu yǒu shànyǎng lǎorén de chuántǒng.
中国又有赡养老人的传统。
and Chinese have the tradition of supporting the elderly.

124
Yǎng’ér fánglǎo? | Duì!
养儿防老?| 对!
Parents raise sons for the purpose of being looked after in old age? | Right!

125
Suǒyǐ, yī duì niánqīngrén kěnéng xūyào fùdān sì gè lǎorén de shēnghuó,
所以,一对年轻人可能需要负担四个老人的生活,
So, a young couple might need to support four elderly parents,

126
háiyǒu zìjǐ de háizi. | Duì a!
还有自己的孩子。| 对啊!
along with their own children. | Right!

127
Yālì dà le, huídào jiā jiù zhǐ xiǎng xiūxi le,
压力大了,回到家就只想休息了,
When the pressure (on a young couple) becomes larger, all they want to do is rest when they get home.

128
zěnme hái huì yǒu xīnqíng guò fūqī shēnghuó ne?
怎么还会有心情过夫妻生活呢?
How can they possibly be in the mood for sex?

129
Dàn zhèzhǒng hūnyīn shì bù jiànkāng de ba?
但这种婚姻是不健康的吧?
But this kind of marriage is not healthy, right?

130
Suǒyǐ ya, fūqī gǎnqíng jiù hěn róngyì chūxiàn wèntí a.
所以呀,夫妻感情就很容易出现问题啊。
That’s why the marriage is very likely to fail.

131
Bùguò wǒmen zhè dài rén yǒu yī diǎn hěn xìngyùn,
不过我们这代人有一点很幸运,
But, I think there is one thing about our generation that we should consider lucky,

132
nà jiùshì yǒu le háizi zhīhòu, tōngcháng fùmǔ doū huì bāngmáng dài,
那就是有了孩子之后,通常父母都会帮忙带,
that is when we have kids, our parents will usually look after them.

133
nà niánqīngrén jiù kěyǐ ānxīn de zài wàimiàn gōngzuò zhèngqián le ya.
那年轻人就可以安心地在外面工作挣钱了呀。
That way, young couples can focus on making money.

134
Dàn zhè yě yǒu bùhǎo de yī miàn.
但这也有不好的一面。
But this also has a bad side.

135
Gōngpó gēn niánqīng fūqī zhù zài yīqǐ,
公婆跟年轻夫妻住在一起,
Having the husband’s parents living with a young couple

136
yě huì yǐngxiǎng fūqī shēnghuó de.
也会影响夫妻生活的。
might affect the couple’s sex life.

137
Zěnme shuō ne?
怎么说呢?
How?

138
Wǒ jiù jiǎng jiǎng yī gè wǒ zài Zhīhū shàng kàndào de gùshi ba.
我就讲讲一个我在知乎上看到的故事吧。
Let me tell you a story I read on Zhihu (a Chinese forum similar to Quora)

139
Zhè shì yī gè nǚ wǎngyǒu fēnxiǎng de.
这是一个女网友分享的。
that was written by a woman.

140
Tā shuō zìcóng gēn gōngpó zhù zài yīqǐ jiù hěn shǎo ài’ai le,
她说自从跟公婆住在一起就很少爱爱了,
She said that ever since her in-laws moved in, she and her husband rarely made love.

141
yīnwèi gōngpó jiù zhù zài gébì,
因为公婆就住在隔壁,
The reason was that her in-laws were sleeping in the adjacent bedroom,

142
bù gǎn fāchū rènhé shēngyīn.
不敢发出任何声音。
so the young couple felt uncomfortable about making any noise.

143
Érqiě hěn duō fángzi de géyīn yě bùhǎo.
而且很多房子的隔音也不好。
Also, the sound insulation in many apartments isn’t very good.

144
Duì! Tā gǎnjué gōngpó tīngdào huì hěn gāngà.
对!她感觉公婆听到会很尴尬。
Right! She felt that it would be embarrassing if her in-laws heard them.

145
Gāng kāishǐ tā hé tā lǎogong jǐnliàng xiǎoshēng,
刚开始她和她老公尽量小声,
At the beginning, they tried to be quiet.

146
hòumian tāmen yě méiyǒu xìngqù le.
后面他们也没有兴趣了。
But slowly, they lost their interest in sex.

147
Tā shuō zhège tèbié yǐngxiǎng fūqī shēnghuó.
她说这个特别影响夫妻生活。
She said that this (living with their in-laws) has seriously affected their sexual life.

148
En, wǒmen zhīqián zuò guò yī qī jiētóu cǎifǎng,
嗯,我们之前做过一期街头采访,
We once did a street interview

149
hěn duō nǚháizi dōu biǎoshì jiānjué bù hé gōngpó zhù.
很多女孩子都表示坚决不和公婆住。
in which many girls said that they were determined not to live with their future parents-in-law.

150
Bùguò, wǒ juéde tāmen bù yuànyì gēn gōngpó zhù háiyǒu yī gè yuányīn,
不过,我觉得她们不愿意跟公婆住还有一个原因,
However, I feel there is another reason why they don’t want to live with their husband’s parents.

151
nà jiùshì dānxīn chǔlǐ bù hǎo póxí guānxi.
那就是担心处理不好婆媳关系。
That is, they worry about their relationship with their future mother-in-law.

152
En, zhè díquè shì yī gè nántí.
嗯,这的确是一个难题。
This is truly a difficult problem.

153
Shàng yī dài rén gēn wǒmen zhè yī dài rén bùlùn shì zài sīxiǎng shàng,
上一代人跟我们这一代人不论是在思想上,
The prior generation, whether in thinking

154
háishi shēnghuó xíguàn shàng doū huì yǒu hěn dà de chāyì.
还是生活习惯上都会有很大的差异。
or living habits, is very different from ours.

155
Ér zhèxiē chāyì hěn róngyì dǎozhì máodùn.
而这些差异很容易导致矛盾。
And these differences can easily lead to conflict.

156
Shì de. Nà zhège shíhou zhàngfu jiù hěn kělián le.
是的。那这个时候丈夫就很可怜了。
Right. If that happens, the husband will be in a hard position.

157
Yīnwèi tā bèi jiá zài zhōngjiān, | Duì
因为他被夹在中间,| 对
He will be stuck in the middle

158
yībiān shì lǎopó, yībiān shì mǔqīn,
一边是老婆,一边是母亲,
where, on one side is his wife, and on the other is his mother.

159
bùlùn tā zhàn zài nǎ yībiān, máodùn dōu kěnéng huì shēngjí.
不论他站在哪一边,矛盾都可能会升级。
No matter which side he takes, the conflict might escalate.

160
Duì ya! Wànyī zhè zhàngfu háishi gè mābǎonán,
对呀!万一这丈夫还是个妈宝男,
Yeah! And if the husband happens to be a mama’s boy,

161
shénme shì dōu xiàng zhe māma, nà qīzi gèngjiā shòubùliǎo le.
什么事都向着妈妈,那妻子更加受不了了。
and he takes his mother’s side all the time, the wife will not put up with it.

162
Dāngrán, yě yǒukěnéng shì nǚfāng de wèntí.
当然,也有可能是女方的问题。
Of course, it can also be the wife’s problem.

163
Xiàng wǒmen qiánmiàn shuō de,
像我们前面说的,
Like we said before,

164
wǒmen zhè yī dài rén duōshù shì dúshēngzǐnǚ,
我们这一代人多数是独生子女,
people in our generation were usually the only child in their family,

165
cóngxiǎo bèi jiārén chǒng’ài,
从小被家人宠爱,
so we might have been spoiled by our families

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hěn róngyì yǎngchéng zìwǒ de xìnggé,
很容易养成自我的性格,
and developed self-centered personalities.

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bǎ biéren de bāngzhù dàngzuò lǐsuǒdāngrán,
把别人的帮助当作理所当然,
Thus, we take other people’s help for granted,

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yě bù dǒngde zhàn zài biéren de jiǎodù sīkǎo wèntí.
也不懂得站在别人的角度思考问题。
and we don’t consider things from other people’s perspectives.

169
Zhèxiē dōu shì yǒu gōngzhǔ bìng de rén huì yǒu de zhèngzhuàng.
这些都是有公主病的人会有的症状。
These are some of the “symptoms” that women with Princess Syndrome will have.

170
Qíshí wǒmen zhīqián yǒu zuò guò guānyú mābǎonán
其实我们之前有做过关于妈宝男
We have actually done videos that talked about Mama’s Boy

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hé gōngzhǔ bìng de shìpín,
和公主病的视频,
and Princess Syndrome.

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rúguǒ gǎnxìngqù de péngyou kěyǐ qù kàn yīxià.
如果感兴趣的朋友可以去看一下。
Check them out if you’re interested.

173
Huídào zhèng tí, fūqī zhījiān rúguǒ quēfá lǐjiě,
回到正题,夫妻之间如果缺乏理解,
Okay, going back to our discussion, if a couple can’t understand each other

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dōu rènwéi zìjǐ shì duì de,
都认为自己是对的,
and each feels that they’re always right,

175
nà jiù méiyǒu bànfǎ hěn hǎo de gōutōng le.
那就没有办法很好地沟通了。
then communication won’t be possible.

176
Máodùn jiù hěn róngyì chǎnshēng. | Duì
矛盾就很容易产生。| 对
And arguments will occur. | Right!

177
Máodùn duō le, gǎnqíng jiù huì shòudào yǐngxiǎng,
矛盾多了,感情就会受到影响,
If there are a lot of arguments, then this will affect their relationship

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bìng zuìzhōng xuǎnzé líhūn.
并最终选择离婚。
and eventually lead to divorce.

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Shì de! Qiánmiàn tídào de yī gè bàogào zhōng,
是的!前面提到的一个报告中,
Yes. In the report we just mentioned,

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háiyǒu yī zǔ zhídezhùyì de shùjù.
还有一组值得注意的数据。
there is another set of data that is worth noting.

181
Nà jiùshì, hěn duō líhūn de dōu shì zài hūn hòu liǎng dào qī nián fāshēng de.
那就是,很多离婚的都是在婚后两到七年发生的。
That is, most divorces occurred between 2 to 7 years into the marriage.

182
Nà hěn duō dōu shì jiéhūn méi duōjiǔ jiù líhūn le?
那很多都是结婚没多久就离婚了?
So that means many couples got divorced not long after they married?

183
Shì a!
是啊!
Right!

184
Wǒmen xiànzài bù shì yǒu gè xīn cír ma?
我们现在不是有个新词儿吗?
We have a new phrase

185
Jiào “shǎnhūn shǎn lí”,
叫闪婚闪离,
“flash marriage, flash divorce”,

186
jiùshì yònglái xíngróng zhèzhǒng jiéhūn kuài, líhūn yě kuài de xiànxiàng.
就是用来形容这种结婚快,离婚也快的现象。
and it is used to describe the phenomenon where a marriage happens quick, but also ends quick.

187
Shǎnhūn shì yīnwèi xiànzài niánqīngrén jīngcháng zāodào jiārén cuī hūn.
闪婚是因为现在年轻人经常遭到家人催婚。
The occurrence of “flash (quick) marriage” is because young people are often pressured to get married by their families.

188
Āi! Zhè shì jīhū měi gè Zhōngguó niánqīngrén doū huì miànduì de yālì,
唉!这是几乎每个中国年轻人都会面对的压力,
Almost every young Chinese will face this kind of pressure.

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zài Zhōngguó, zhǐyào nǐ guò le èrshí wǔ suì, shènzhì gèng niánqīng,
在中国,只要你过了二十五岁,甚至更年轻,
In China, as soon as they become 25 years old, or even younger,

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bùlùn shì nǐ de fùmǔ háishi qīnqi,
不论是你的父母还是亲戚,
whether it’s your parents, relatives

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shènzhì péngyou doū huì wèi nǐ zháojí.
甚至朋友都会为你着急。
or even friends, they will feel anxious for you (for not being married).

192
Měicì liáo de huàtí yě dōu shì wéirào jiéhūn, jiéhūn!
每次聊的话题也都是围绕结婚,结婚!
The topic of discussion will always revolved around marriage!

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Nà nǐ bèi cuī guò ma?
那你被催过吗?
Have you been pressured?

194
Nà hái yòng wèn ma?
那还用问吗?
Of course!!

195
Wǒ xiànzài zhǐyào xiǎngdào guònián huíjiā,
我现在只要想到过年回家,
Now, when I think about going home for Chinese New Year,

196
wǒ jiù kāishǐ jǐnzhāng, jiāolǜ, xīntiào jiāsù.
我就开始紧张、焦虑、心跳加速。
I will start feeling nervous and my heart beats faster.

197
Shuōqǐ cuī hūn na, wǒ yǒu yī gè péngyou shì zhèyàng de,
说起催婚呐,我有一个朋友是这样的,
Speaking of marriage pressure, I have a friend

198
dāngshí tāmen cūn de tónglíngrén dōu yǐjīng jiéhūn shēngzǐ le,
当时她们村的同龄人都已经结婚生子了,
and in her village, all the people her age were already married and had kids,

199
tā hái méiyǒu nánpéngyou.
她还没有男朋友。
but she still didn’t have a boyfriend.

200
Měicì huíjiā doū huì bèi fùmǔ hé mèimei cuīcù.
每次回家都会被父母和妹妹催促。
Every time she went home, she would be urged by her parents and younger sister (to get married).

201
Mèimei? Wèishénme?
妹妹?为什么?
Younger sister? Why?

202
Tā mèimei wèishénme cuī tā a?
她妹妹为什么催她啊?
Why did her younger sister pressure her?

203
Yīnwèi tā mèimei yǒu nánpéngyou ya, bìngqiě zhǔnbèi jiéhūn le.
因为她妹妹有男朋友呀,并且准备结婚了。
Because she had a boyfriend and she planned to get married.

204
Suǒyǐ ne?
所以呢?
So?

205
Tāmen dāngdì yǒu yī gè xísú,
她们当地有一个习俗,
There is a custom there

206
jiùshì jiějie huòzhě gēge rúguǒ méiyǒu jiéhūn,
就是姐姐或者哥哥如果没有结婚,
that if the older sister or brother is not married,

207
mèimei huòzhě dìdi jiù bùnéng jiéhūn.
妹妹或者弟弟就不能结婚。
then the younger sister or brother cannot get married.

208
Dànshì ne, tā mèimei yòu xiǎng jiéhūn, suǒyǐ tā jiù hěn zháojí.
但是呢,她妹妹又想结婚,所以她就很着急。
But, her sister really wanted to get married. That’s why my friend felt very anxious.

209
Zuìhòu, wǒ zhège péngyou tōngguò xiāngqīn shǎnhūn le.
最后,我这个朋友通过相亲闪婚了。
Eventually, my friend got into a flash marriage with the help of a matchmaker.

210
Nǐ shuō de shǎnhūn, yǒu duō kuài a?
你说的闪婚,有多快啊?
How soon was the marriage?

211
Dàgài rènshi liǎng gè xīngqī hòu jiù jiéhūn le ba,
大概认识两个星期后就结婚了吧,
They got married roughly two weeks after they met

212
bìngqiě hái mǎshàng yǒu le háizi.
并且还马上有了孩子。
and they soon had a kid.

213
Wǒ de tiān na!
我的天哪!
My God!

214
Hěn kuài ba?
很快吧?
It was very fast, right?

215
Duì le, nǐ yǒu méiyǒu tīng guò yīxiē fùmǔ huì zhèyàngzi gēn érzi shuō:
对了,你有没有听过一些父母会这样子跟儿子说:
By the way, have you heard some parents who might say something like this to their son:

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“Āi, wǒ gēn nǐ bà lǎo le, shēntǐ bù hǎo le,
“唉,我跟你爸老了,身体不好了,
“Your father and I are getting old and our health is getting worse.

217
wǒmen wéiyī de yuànwàng jiùshì bào gè sūnzi.”
我们唯一的愿望就是抱个孙子。”
Our only wish is to be able to get a grandson. “

218
Tāmen hái kěnéng huì gēn nǐ shuō:
他们还可能会跟你说:
They might also say:

219
“rúguǒ kàn bùdào nǐ jiéhūn, wǒ sǐ le yě bù ānxīn na!”
“如果看不到你结婚,我死了也不安心哪!”
“If I don’t see you get married, I won’t rest in peace after I die.”

220
Duì duì! Suǒyǐ ne, hěn duō rén jiùshì wèile ràng fùmǔ ānxīn, jiù tuǒxié le,
对对!所以呢,很多人就是为了让父母安心,就妥协了,
That’s right! Therefore, many (young) people make compromises in order to give their parents a peace of mind,

221
ránhòu dāying fùmǔ xiāngqīn jiéhūn.
然后答应父母相亲结婚。
and they will agree to get married through the help of a matchmaker.

222
Dàn wèntí shì, xiāngqīn tōngcháng dōu shì jiàn yī liǎng miàn jiù juédìng de,
但问题是,相亲通常都是见一两面就决定的,
But the trouble is that this kind of marriage usually happens after just one or two meetings,

223
jiù xiàng nǐ nàge péngyou, liǎng gè xīngqī jiù jiéhūn le,
就像你那个朋友,两个星期就结婚了,
just like your friend who got married after meeting the guy just two weeks earlier.

224
zhè zěnme kěnéng huì yǒu gǎnqíng ne?
这怎么可能会有感情呢?
How could there possibly be any love?

225
Duì a! Zhè gēnběn jiùshì wèile fùmǔ ér jiéhūn.
对啊!这根本就是为了父母而结婚。
Right! Basically, they marry for the sake of their parents.

226
En, suǒyǐ cái huì chūxiàn zhème duō fūqī
嗯,所以才会出现这么多夫妻
Yeah! That’s why so many couples divorce

227
jiéhūn jǐnián jiù líhūn de qíngkuàng ma.
结婚几年就离婚的情况嘛。
after only a few years into their marriage.

228
Wǒ juéde yǒuxiē shǎn lí de qíngkuàng,
我觉得有些闪离的情况,
I think some “flash divorce” might be

229
yě kěnéng shì yīnwèi xiànzài de niánqīngrén duì hūnyīn de guānniàn biàn le,
也可能是因为现在的年轻人对婚姻的观念变了,
because young people’s perception towards marriage has changed.

230
yóuqíshì nǚxìng, duì hūnyīn de qīwàng yě gāo le.
尤其是女性,对婚姻的期望也高了。
Especially women, their expectations about marriage are getting higher.

231
Hūn hòu yīdàn fāxiàn dábùdào zìjǐ de qīwàng,
婚后一旦发现达不到自己的期望,
If they find that the marriage doesn’t meet their expectations,

232
jiù kěnéng xuǎnzé líhūn.
就可能选择离婚。
they might choose to divorce.

233
Nǐ shuō de hěn duì o!
你说得很对哦!
You’re right!

234
Yǒu shùjù xiǎnshì, cóng èr líng yī liù dào èr líng yī qī zhè liǎng nián,
有数据显示,从2016到2017这两年,
Statistics showed that from 2016 to 2017,

235
quánguó de líhūn ànjiàn zhōng,
全国的离婚案件中,
of all the divorce cases in China,

236
yǒu bǎifēnzhī qīshí sān diǎn sì shì lǎopó tíchū yào líhūn de.
有73.4%是老婆提出要离婚的。
73.4% of the cases were initiated by the women.

237
Nà shì yīnwèi xiànzài de nǚxìng, xiāngbǐ yǐqián de nǚxìng,
那是因为现在的女性,相比以前的女性,
That’s because compared to before, women nowadays

238
bùlùn shì jīngjì shàng háishi sīxiǎng shàng, dōu gèngjiā dúlì le.
不论是经济上还是思想上,都更加独立了。
are more independent in their finance and in their thinking.

239
Suǒyǐ, nǚxìng zài hūnyīn shàng yě yǒu le gèng duō de zìzhǔquán.
所以,女性在婚姻上也有了更多的自主权。
Therefore, women have more decision-making power in their marriage.

240
Shì de, xiàng wǒmen fùmǔ de nàge niándài,
是的,像我们父母的那个年代,
Right. Consider our parents’ generation,

241
jīngjì ne méiyǒu xiànzài zhème hǎo,
经济呢没有现在这么好,
the economy wasn’t as good as now

242
hěn duō xiǎoháizi shì méiyǒu jīhuì qù dúshū de, yóuqíshì nǚháizi.
很多小孩子是没有机会去读书的,尤其是女孩子。
and many kids didn’t have the opportunity to go to school, especially girls.

243
Wǒ mā jiù méi dú guò shū, dàoxiànzài hái bù rènshi zì ne.
我妈就没读过书,到现在还不认识字呢。
My mother has never been to a school and even now, she doesn’t know any (Chinese) characters.

244
Duì o, wǒ jìde nǐ gēn wǒ shuō guò nǐ xiànzài zài jiāo tā rènzì.
对哦,我记得你跟我说过你现在在教她认字。
Right, I remember you told me that you were teaching her Chinese characters.

245
Shì a, xiànzài yě xuéhuì le jǐge jiǎndān de zì ba.
是啊,现在也学会了几个简单的字吧。
Yes, now she can recognize a few simple characters.

246
Wǒ yǒu méiyǒu gēn nǐ shuō guò,
我有没有跟你说过,
Have I told you that

247
wǒ mā zài jià gěi wǒ bà zhīqián qíshí shì lí guò hūn de?
我妈在嫁给我爸之前其实是离过婚的?
my mother actually divorced once before marrying my father?

248
Ó, shì ma?
哦,是吗?
Oh, yeah?

249
Qíshí wǒ mā gēn wǒ shuō de shíhou, wǒ yě hěn jīngyà,
其实我妈跟我说的时候,我也很惊讶,
In fact, I was very surprised when my mom told me that,

250
yīnwèi nàge shíhou líhūn shì hěn shǎojiàn de.
因为那个时候离婚是很少见的。
because divorce was very rare at that time.

251
Duì a! Tā jiārén yīnggāi bù tóngyì ba?
对啊!她家人应该不同意吧?
Yeah! Her family must have disagreed with her?

252
Dāngrán bù tóngyì!
当然不同意!
Of course!

253
Tā qiánfū qíshí yě bù yuànyì, dàn wǒ mā hěn jiānchí.
她前夫其实也不愿意,但我妈很坚持。
Also, her ex-husband didn’t want to. But my mom insisted.

254
Zuìzhōng tā zuò le yī gè hěn yǒnggǎn de shìr,
最终她做了一个很勇敢的事儿,
Eventually, she did something brave.

255
nà jiùshì tōutōu de qù fǎtíng shēnqǐng le líhūn,
那就是偷偷地去法庭申请了离婚,
She secretly went to the court to file for divorce

256
méiyǒu ràng wǒ wàipó zhīdào.
没有让我外婆知道。
without telling my grandmother.

257
Wa! Nǐ mā hǎo yǒnggǎn a!
哇!你妈好勇敢啊!
Wow! Your mom was so brave!

258
Běnlái ne tā shì dǎsuàn líhūn hòu qù wàidì dǎgōng de.
本来呢她是打算离婚后去外地打工的。
Initially, her plan was to go find a job in another city after divorce.

259
Dàn hěn kěxī, tā bù rènshi zì, suǒyǐ bù gǎn chūqù.
但很可惜,她不认识字,所以不敢出去。
But unfortunately, she couldn’t read, so she didn’t feel comfortable going alone.

260
Zuìhòu ne, yòu tōngguò xiāngqīn jià gěi le wǒ bà.
最后呢,又通过相亲嫁给了我爸。
Eventually, she married my father through a matchmaker.

261
Suǒyǐ jiù yǒu le nǐ. Hāhā…
所以就有了你。哈哈…
Then, they had you!

262
Duì a! Wǒ xiǎng shuō de shì nàge niándài de nǚrén shì bùhuì qīngyì líhūn de.
对啊!我想说的是那个年代的女人是不会轻易离婚的。
Right! What I wanna say is that women at that time wouldn’t divorce easily.

263
Shǒuxiān tāmen méiyǒu jīngjì nénglì,
首先她们没有经济能力,
Firstly, they didn’t have financial power

264
zhǐnéng chéngwéi jiātíngzhǔfù, kào zhàngfu zhèngqián yǎngjiā.
只能成为家庭主妇,靠丈夫挣钱养家。
and so they could only be housewives and depend on their husbands.

265
Qícì, nàge niándài de shèhuìhuánjìng yě bù xiàng xiànzài zhème kāifàng.
其次,那个年代的社会环境也不像现在这么开放。
Secondly, the society then wasn’t as open.

266
Xiàng wǒ wàipó jiù hěn fǎnduì wǒ mā líhūn,
像我外婆就很反对我妈离婚,
That was why my grandmother was opposed to my mother getting a divorce.

267
hòumian tā zhīdào le tā yě hěn shēngqì.
后面她知道了她也很生气。
Later, when she found out, she was very angry.

268
Yīnwèi tāmen juéde líhūn shì jiàn hěn diūrén de shìr.
因为他们觉得离婚是件很丢人的事儿。
At that time, people felt that divorce was something shameful.

269
Duì a, érqiě nàge shíhou líhūn bù jǐnjǐn shì fūqī liǎng gè rén de shìr.
对啊,而且那个时候离婚不仅仅是夫妻两个人的事儿。
Right! And it wasn’t just between the couple.

270
Jiùsuàn fūqī zìyuàn líhūn, yě xūyào xiān ná dào suǒzài dānwèi,
就算夫妻自愿离婚,也需要先拿到所在单位、
Even if the couple were willing to divorce, they still needed to get permission from their company

271
huò dāngdì wěiyuánhuì de jièshào xìn, cái néng qù dēngjì líhūn de.
或当地委员会的介绍信,才能去登记离婚的。
or their community in order to file for divorce. (before my mother’s time)

272
Nà bùshì hǎoduō rén dōu zhīdào le?
那不是好多人都知道了?
That meant many people would find out about it.

273
Suǒyǐ a, wèile miànzi, hěn shǎo yǒurén huì líhūn de.
所以啊,为了面子,很少有人会离婚的。
So, because of fear of losing face, most people wouldn’t divorce.

274
Jiùsuàn hūnyīn chūxiàn wèntí, bǐrú chūguǐ, jiābào,
就算婚姻出现问题,比如出轨、家暴,
Even if problems occurred in the marriage, such as cheating or domestic violence,

275
dàbùfen nǚxìng doū huì xuǎnzé rěn,
大部分女性都会选择忍,
most women would tolerate it,

276
yīnwèi tāmen juéde zhè shì jiāchǒu, bùnéng ràng biéren zhīdào.
因为她们觉得这是家丑,不能让别人知道。
because they felt this was a family issue and they didn’t want other people to know about it.

277
Shuōqǐ jiābào, nǐ qiánmiàn bùshì shuō guò
说起家暴,你前面不是说过
Speaking of domestic violence, didn’t you say that

278
zhè shì líhūn de qízhōng yī dà yuányīn ma?
这是离婚的其中一大原因吗?
it is one of the major causes of divorce?

279
Shì, nà xiàng bàogào xiǎnshì,
是,那项报告显示,
Yes, that report shows,

280
yǒu bǎifēnzhī shísì diǎn bā liù de fūqī shì yīnwèi jiābào ér líhūn de.
有14.86%的夫妻是因为家暴而离婚的。
14.86% of the couples divorced due to domestic violence.

281
Ér yǒu bǎifēnzhī jiǔshí yǐshàng de ànjiàn shì nánxìng duì nǚxìng shíshī jiābào.
而有90%以上的案件是男性对女性实施家暴。
And 90% of the victims were women.

282
Qízhōng, jiābào fāngshì yǐ ōudǎ zhàn dàduōshù,
其中,家暴方式以殴打占大多数,
Among the forms of domestic violence, physical abuse was the primary occurrence.

283
qícì jiùshì rǔmà le, yějiùshì yǔyán bàolì.
其次就是辱骂了,也就是语言暴力。
The second was insult, that is, verbal violence.

284
Nǐ xué guò Yīngyǔ, nà nǐ yīnggāi tīng guò Fēngkuáng Yīngyǔ ba?
你学过英语,那你应该听过疯狂英语吧?
You have been learning English, you must have heard of Crazy English, right?

285
Dāngrán tīng guò la!
当然听过啦!
Sure!

286
Tā de chuàngshǐrén Lǐyáng hái qù guò wǒ dì de xuéxiào yǎnjiǎng ne.
它的创始人李阳还去过我弟的学校演讲呢。
The founder of Crazy English, Li Yang gave a speech at my brother’s school.

287
Bùguò hòulái wǒ dì gēn wǒ shuō, Lǐyáng jīngcháng dǎ tā lǎopó?
不过后来我弟跟我说,李阳经常打他老婆?
Later, my brother told me that he often beat his wife, right?

288
Duì a! Zhè jiàn shì dāngshí hěn hōngdòng,
对啊!这件事当时很轰动,
Yes! It became well-known

289
yīnwèi Lǐyáng míngqì hěn dà.
因为李阳名气很大。
because Li Yang was very famous at the time.

290
Tā de Měiguó lǎopó Kim
她的美国老婆Kim
His American wife Kim,

291
zài wēibó shàng bàoguāng le Lǐyáng de jiātíngbàolì xíngwéi,
在微博上曝光了李阳的家庭暴力行为,
exposed his violent behavior on Weibo,

292
hái fā le jǐ zhāng zhàopiàn zuòwéi zhèngjù.
还发了几张照片作为证据。
and she posted photos as evidence.

293
Zhè jiàn shìqing bèi bào chūlái de shíhou,
这件事情被曝出来的时候,
When this became public,

294
tīngshuō Lǐyáng mǎshàng jiùyào yǎnjiǎng le.
听说李阳马上就要演讲了。
I heard that Li Yang was about to give a speech.

295
Tā dì’èrtiān yào zài Shàng Hǎi
他第二天要在上海
The next day, in Shanghai,

296
jǐbǎi míng háizi de mǔqīn miànqián jiǎng jiātíng jiàoyù de wèntí.
几百名孩子的母亲面前讲家庭教育的问题。
he needed to talk about family education in front of hundreds of mothers.

297
Dàn dāngshí guānyú Lǐyáng jiābào de bàozhǐ dàochù dōu shì.
但当时关于李阳家暴的报纸到处都是。
But at the time, the reports about Li Yang being violent were everywhere.

298
Nǐ bù juéde zhè hěn fěngcì ma?
你不觉得这很讽刺吗?
Don’t you think that is ironic?

299
Érqiě hǎo gāngà o! | Duì a!
而且好尴尬哦!| 对啊!
And it must have been embarrassing for him! | Yes!

300
Xiànzài, yǒu hěn duō nánrén háishi juéde qīzi shì tāmen de gèrén cáichǎn,
现在,有很多男人还是觉得妻子是他们的个人财产,
Even now, many men still consider their wives as their personal property

301
tāmen kěyǐ rènyì chǔzhì. | Duì
他们可以任意处置。| 对
and they can do anything with them. | Yeah.

302
Rán’ér ne, hěn duō wàirén hái huì zhèyàng shuō,
然而呢,很多外人还会这样说,
However, many people might say:

303
“Āiyā, liǎngkǒuzi dǎjià hěn zhèngcháng a!
“哎呀,两口子打架很正常啊!
“It is very normal for couples to fight

304
Zhè dōu shì jiāshì” shénmede.
这都是家事”什么的。
and this is just family matters.”

305
Nà zhè bùshì jiànjiē gǔlì jiābào ma?
那这不是间接鼓励家暴吗?
Aren’t they encouraging domestic violence indirectly?

306
Dàn yě yǒu yīxiē nǚrén huì yīnwèi háizi rěn,
但也有一些女人会因为孩子忍,
Still, there are some women that will tolerate this for their kids,

307
yīnwèi bùxiǎng ràng háizi zài dānqīnjiātíng zhōng zhǎngdà.
因为不想让孩子在单亲家庭中长大。
because they don’t want them to grow up in a single family.

308
Shì de! Wǒ zài wǎngshàng jiù kàndào le yī wèi nǚ wǎngyǒu fēnxiǎng de gùshi,
是的!我在网上就看到了一位女网友分享的故事,
Yes! I read a story written by a female netizen,

309
tā shuō tā lǎogong píqi hěn chà,
她说她老公脾气很差,
who said that her husband had a terrible temper

310
jīngcháng yīnwèi yīdiǎn xiǎoshì hǒu tā, ǒu’ěr hái huì dǎ tā.
经常因为一点小事吼她,偶尔还会打她。
and often yelled at her over small things. Occasionally, he even beat her.

311
Dàn tā kǎolǜ dào tā de érzi ne, jiù yīzài de rěn.
但她考虑到她的儿子呢,就一再地忍。
But because of consideration for her son, she always tolerated her husband.

312
Xiànzài ne tā juéde hǎo tòngkǔ,
现在呢她觉得好痛苦,
Now she feels great (emotional) pain

313
suǒyǐ a jiù zài wǎngshàng wèn dàjiā zěnmebàn.
所以啊就在网上问大家怎么办。
and is asking people online what she should do.

314
Hěn duō wǎngyǒu dōu shuō jiābào zhèzhǒng shì,
很多网友都说家暴这种事,
Many people online said that things like domestic violence

315
fāshēng le yīcì, jiù hái huì zài fāshēng.
发生了一次,就还会再发生。
will definitely happen again if it happened once.

316
Érqiě rúguǒ háizi kàndào māma bèi bàba dǎ,
而且如果孩子看到妈妈被爸爸打,
Also, if the kid sees that his mother gets beaten by his father,

317
zhèyàng duì háizi de chéngzhǎng ne yě huì yǒu bùhǎo de yǐngxiǎng.
这样对孩子的成长呢也会有不好的影响。
this will have a bad influence on the child’s growth.

318
Duì! Wǒ tīngshuō yī gè zài bàolì jiātíng lǐ zhǎngdà de háizi,
对!我听说一个在暴力家庭里长大的孩子,
Right! I heard that kids who grow up in a violent family

319
yǐhòu yě yǒukěnéng chéngwéi shī bào zhě.
以后也有可能成为施暴者。
will likely become violent themselves in the future.

320
Shì de! Suǒyǐ hěn duō wǎngyǒu dōu zhīchí tā líhūn.
是的!所以很多网友都支持她离婚。
Right! That’s why many people online encouraged her getting a divorce.

321
En, cóng zhège jiǎodù láikàn,
嗯,从这个角度来看,
From this perspective,

322
wǒ juéde duìyú nàxiē yǒu wèntí,
我觉得对于那些有问题,
I think people who have problems

323
dàn bù zhīdào zhǎo shuí zīxún de rén láishuō,
但不知道找谁咨询的人来说,
but have no one to turn to for advice,

324
wǎngluò yě shì yī gè kěyǐ huòdé zhīchí, shènzhì shì jiějué wèntí de píngtái.
网络也是一个可以获得支持,甚至是解决问题的平台。
the internet can be a platform where they can get support and even get solutions.

325
Shì de! Suǒyǐ a pèng dào le shénme wèntí yīdìngyào zhǎo péngyou liáo.
是的!所以啊碰到了什么问题一定要找朋友聊。
That’s right! So if you have any problem, you should always talk to your friends.

326
Rúguǒ shēnbiān méiyǒu péngyou dehuà,
如果身边没有朋友的话,
And, if you don’t have any friends to talk to,

327
yě kěyǐ zài wǎngshàng zhǎo yīxiē wǎngyǒu liáo liáo nǐ de wèntí,
也可以在网上找一些网友聊聊你的问题,
you can always find someone online.

328
tīng yī tīng bùtóng rén de kànfǎ.
听一听不同人的看法。
Getting different perspectives

329
Zhèyàng ne bùjǐn néng jiǎnqīng nǐ xīnli de yālì,
这样呢不仅能减轻你心里的压力,
not only helps lessen some of your pressure,

330
shuōbudìng hái néng zhǎodào jiějué fāngfǎ ne, shì ba?
说不定还能找到解决方法呢,是吧?
but can also help you find a solution. Right?

331
Duì! Nà Eileen, nǐ zuìjìn yǒu méiyǒu shénme wèntí yào zhǎo wǒ liáo a?
对!那Eileen,你最近有没有什么问题要找我聊啊?
Yes! So Eileen, is there any problem you’d like to discuss with me?

332
Āi… wǒ zuìjìn wéiyī de wèntí jiùshì quēqián.
唉… 我最近唯一的问题就是缺钱。
Well, my only problem now is money.

333
Nǐ nénggòu bāng wǒ ma?
你能够帮我吗?
Can you help me with that?

334
É… wǒ yě quē.
额… 我也缺。
Um… I’m short of money too!

335
Suànle suànle!
算了算了!
Forget it!

336
Wǒ juéde, huídào zhèng tí a,
我觉得,回到正题啊,
Going back to the topic,

337
cóng jīntiān de tǎolùn,
从今天的讨论,
I think that from today’s discussion,

338
wǒ xué dào le fūqī zhījiān gōutōng hé lǐjiě de zhòngyàoxìng.
我学到了夫妻之间沟通和理解的重要性。
I learned the importance of communication and understanding in a relationship.

339
Háiyǒu, pèngdào bùxìng de hūnyīn,
还有,碰到不幸的婚姻,
Also, if you happen to have an unfortunate marriage,

340
yě qiānwàn bùyào wèile háizi, huòzhě qítā yuányīn xuǎnzé rěn,
也千万不要为了孩子,或者其它原因选择忍,
do not tolerate it just because of your kids or other reasons,

341
zhèyàng dàotóulái, háizi hé nǐ zìjǐ dōu huì bù xìngfú de.
这样到头来,孩子和你自己都会不幸福的。
because at the end of the day, your kids and you won’t be happy.

342
Shì de. Suīrán líhūn rénshù zēngjiā shì jiàn bùhǎo de shìr, dàn yě yǒu tā hǎo de yī miàn.
是的。虽然离婚人数增加是件不好的事儿,但也有它好的一面。
Right! Even though the increasing number of divorces isn’t a good thing, it has its good side.

343
Yīnwèi nà shuōmíng xiànzài de shèhuì gèng bāoróng le,
因为那说明现在的社会更包容了,
That’s because it shows that our society is becoming more tolerant

344
niánqīngrén de sīxiǎng yě gèng kāifàng le.
年轻人的思想也更开放了。
and that young people are becoming more open-minded.

345
Dànshì, qiānwàn bùyào shǎnhūn, ránhòu yòu shǎn lí!
但是,千万不要闪婚,然后又闪离!
But under no circumstances should you get into a flash marriage and then end up in a flash divorce!

346
Méicuò méicuò! Nà jīntiān de tǎolùn jiù dào zhèlǐ le.
没错没错!那今天的讨论就到这里了。
That’s right! So, that’s it for today!

347
Huìlín, nǐ háiyǒu shénme xiǎng shuō de ma?
慧琳,你还有什么想说的吗?
Hui Lin, is there anything you’d like to add?

348
Wǒ xiǎng shuō, zhù dàjiā dōu néng yōngyǒu yī gè xìngfú měimǎn de hūnyīn!
我想说,祝大家都能拥有一个幸福美满的婚姻!
I want to wish everyone a happy marriage!

349
Duìle, xǐhuan wǒmen de péngyou jìde bāng wǒmen diǎnzàn o!
对了,喜欢我们的朋友记得帮我们点赞哦!
By the way, if you like our discussion, please give us a “like”!

350
Háiyǒu dìngyuè wǒmen de píndào o!
还有订阅我们的频道哦!
And subscribe!

351
Wǒmen xiàcì jiàn ba!
我们下次见吧!
See you next time!

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